You really coming over, don't trick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
