did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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