Jerry, you need to find god
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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