I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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