I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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