that's an acceptable place to lick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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