I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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