beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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