So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
