She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
