Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
