new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I love having hate sex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
