she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet