I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...