While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
