If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.