I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU