Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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