with your own penis?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
