Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
