And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
