ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

  Fav 32 1677 5085

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

  Fav 64 5466 1936

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

  Fav 4 3012 1329

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

  Fav 11 4233 1921

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

  Fav 5 2483 1141

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down

  Fav 15 3082 1431

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

  Fav 2 1547 717

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

  Fav 18 2890 1042

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

  Fav 4 993 588

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

  Fav 3 1071 578

  share tweet
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.

  Fav 3 812 369

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (224): View more from Illinois

  We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"

  Fav 2 746 269

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you

  Fav 3 450 173

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.

  Fav 0 71 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  Whats a little breast milk between friends?

  Fav 0 49 36

  share tweet
  

Randomize