Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
