So drunk its hurt
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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