there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
