idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
