and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
