okay pat passed out under dana's car
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
