I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
