Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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