I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
