I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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