If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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