p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
