I look better un-naked...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
