so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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