what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize