eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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