Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He felt like a one man threesome
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Randomize
