i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
