You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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