i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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