I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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