Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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