Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
