Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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