he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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