btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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