Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
