the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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