I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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