Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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