my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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