Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
