I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
