You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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