I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
