sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
