He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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