My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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