he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
