hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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