whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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